I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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