So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
