After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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