So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
