the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
