I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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