Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
