I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
