I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
