He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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