last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
