so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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