You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
