ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
