I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
