tell your sister to shave her snatch
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
