What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May the power of my ass compel you!!
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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