he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
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