I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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