I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
