Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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