Im at strip club and am horny
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
