Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
