In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Randomize