Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
my being single is dangerous.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
