Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.

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(406): View more from Montana

also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...

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(850): View more from Florida

I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

there's a liquor store near my therapist

(617): View more from Massachusetts

i might give it a shot.

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(702): View more from Nevada

please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..

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(928): View more from Arizona

My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?

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