i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
