hotel room ftw
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
