I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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