It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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