I think i sorta joined a cult last night
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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