Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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