Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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