I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
