No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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