She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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