Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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