no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
