He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
