loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
