You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
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My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
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I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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