he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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