A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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