I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece