Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
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