I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize