hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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