You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize