I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
