yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You pole danced in your parka.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
