im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
