so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
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I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
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Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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