Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
