Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I am spending my child support on dildos
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
