Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
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