Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
operation have a gay friend backfired
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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