Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
