there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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