quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
