wrigley field is MILF paradise
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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