There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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