So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
