I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
