Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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