Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
