She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I lost the right to judge tonight
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
