things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
