If that was your dad, he is hot
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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