I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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